My goodness, a long time has passed since the last post! Well, it’s sorta expected. A lot has been going on in the real world. School just started Fall Quarter, which means I now have a life again. This time around it includes classes in Artificial Intelligence and Computer Graphics (OpenGL programming). I guarantee that A* will find it’s way into my future games from now on. What an awesome little path-finding algorithm!

I haven’t given up on Conjurer! It’s merely second to my schoolwork now. As you can see, a LOT has happened! Here’s a video of the new Goblin enemy, as well as a demo of checkpoints!

Goblins chase the hero around trying to whack him with their little spears. The exciting part is that they can use ladders to chase after the hero! It needs a little refining. Right now the little dudes will have a seizure if the hero is behind a wall while they decide to climb, but I’ll work it out.

Checkpoints are the next big addition. They limit the hero to certain areas until a goal is achieved, like killing all enemies on screen. It also limits the camera to a specific area as well, which is exactly what I needed before I could begin working on the bosses. Bosses are pretty big, so getting both the hero and the boss to fit on screen at once is important.

As an added bonus, I’ve completed the magic spell casting animations for the hero, as well as their subsequent particles. There will be two degrees of magic spells cast in Conjurer: standard and charged. These are just the standard casts. Charged casts will be a little more devastating. I think I’ll keep those secret so y’all have somewhat of a surprise when the game is released.

Let me know what you think!

NOTE: Also, do me a favor would you. Try digging this article. I’m kinda interested in seeing how much of a draw this gets. You’ll find the digg icon at the bottom of this post. Thank you very much!

I haven’t done this in quite a while, so let’s see how it goes.

My roommate, EX-roommate, left us some old bottles of wine. I figured since my wife, God bless her, doesn’t drink, then it’s up to me to try and free up some space in the buffet cabinet for some better tasting alcohol. This wine is good, but I know I’ve had better. Fuck it if I can remember when.

I’m drunk.

I’ve done this before in one of my earlier blogs, where I drink the entire bottle (or two!) and ramble on for as long as I can before the muse eventually shuts her trap and I pass out. It went swimmingly well before. My friends apparently enjoy reading this tripe. Despite the apparent damage I’m doing to my body. Cheers to my future liver failure!

So let’s get this keg stand on its palms.

I HATE UC Irvine. I hate it with a passionate H. This school is draining every ounce of hope I had for higher education or a higher paying job. Seriously. If I get to spend the rest of my career dealing with the same people who go to my classes then FUCK IT, I’ll become a logger. The threat of being crushed by some wayward tree fall like those dudes on the discovery channel seems 200 times better than putting up with a co-worker with the same hygiene problems as the douche-bag who sits near me every day. I mean what the FUCK, man?? You’re incredibly smart, I’ve SEEN your god damn midterm scores. You can figure out the time complexity of an NP Hard algorithm without batting an eye, but working a fucking washing machine, or God forbid a SHOWER handle is out of your cognitive capacity?? Are these people selectively stupid or something? Who the hell raises their children to live like this??

I shouldn’t go into details. Lord knows that he’ll end up reading this someday. Then I’ll end up with some pouty nerd fucking over some research project I need to graduate. ARGH! I can’t take it anymore. One of the dudes in my class was playing Eve Online during lecture. AN MMORPG in class!!! What the hell!?? We already pay $50 a day in tuition (I think I figured this out last quarter). How does one justify playing a stupid video game in class?

Ugh, on that same tangent, some fuck-tard fell asleep in class last week. He was sitting next to me, and every 30 seconds his head would start nodding off, then sway heavily from side to side making loud, raspy breathing noises before finally slamming into the back of his headrest. That last action, of course, would wake him up, and thus the entire process would repeat until the end of class.

IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS, THEN STAY HOME AND TAKE A NAP!!!

Man, most of you must be bored shitless by now. Sorry about that. These drunken ramblings are more stream of consciousness than anything else. Maybe next time I’ll write an outline.

I guess I could talk about politics but fuck that. They don’t need any more help. This whole election is a fucking joke. John McCain and Barack Obama had my vote a long time ago. I wasn’t even going to go to the polls. I honestly didn’t care who won the election. They’re both VERY good candidates, each one making up for each other’s shortcomings in some bizarre way. But, then McCain had to go an appoint that idiot Palin as his running mate. What in the hell was he on? She is by far the least qualified woman in the world to hold a seat like VP of the United States. Mayor of an Alaskan town was about as far as she should have went. Hell, Senator Ted Stevens is a better pick than her.

I’m boring myself. Let’s move on.

You know what I love? When you get really shit-faced, your nose and tongue sorta get numb. Which makes me wonder: is alcohol a topical anesthetic? That wouldn’t explain why my nose (or the majority of my face for that matter) starts feeling a little vague. Haha. Vague. That word is spelled in such an odd way. Vague. Vagu. Ragu! Great sauce. Ragoo. Vagoo.

Vagina.

This is getting no where.

Why in the hell is there a capslock key? I’m actually touch typing this entire entry, which speaks volumes on how proficient I’ve become in typing without looking at the keyboard. But FUCK! The capslock is the penny on the tracks to my train of thought. All I want to do is capitalize a letter, but one 2 centimeter flaw in my motor skills and suddenly I’M SPEAKING THROUGH A BULLHORN!! BLARGH!!! I hear that there is some online petition who’s goal is to persuade keyboard manufacturers to forego the capslock button. Honestly, do YOU ever use it? You probably just hold down the shift key like everyone else out there. The $60,000 question is what key will end up replacing Capslock? Are they just going to make a fatter shift key? Oh man, getting used to NOT having a capslock may be just as awkward as trying to avoid it. Damnit. I never thought about this. This is fucking serious.

What the fuck is the difference between a hamster and a gerbil. Weena and I were in a Petco the other day and I made the mistake of referring to one of the hamsters on sale as a gerbil. Red alert! One of the employees instantly pointed out that I was WRONG! Hamsters are NOT the same as gerbils. Shame on me! How could I be so blind! That’s like lumping Brits in with French people I guess. So, I’m SORRY, Petco. I’ll never make that mistake again.

Jesus Christ. I’m still drunk. Where in the hell did they grow those grapes? Let’s plant some cabbage in that soil and start making some wicked fish tacos.

My friend Andy is moving away. That fucking sucks. He’s leaving for Austin soon, and just put an offer on a house for the same amount of money that would let you bunk in a walk-in closet here in California. Total bullshit. How in the hell have house prices gotten this outrageous? Seriously! I could never imagine paying half a million dollars for a house. Half a MILLION! Six zero homes, holmes!! Remember when we were kids and the thought of having a million dollars was a joke. So much so that we used it as subsequent currency for dares to throw people off our asses? “Yeah, Susie. I’ll eat that dog turd for A MILLION DOLLARS! Haha!” And that was the end of it, because the idea of having a spare million was like the idea of farting lucky charms whenever we laughed too hard. Now look at us! We’re actually considering getting ourselves half a million in debt, or half a dare to eat dog turd, just to own a fucking roof! I HATE CALIFORNIA for this. More importantly, I hate Irvine for this, because if you think paying a half a million for a home is ridiculous, the homes in Irvine are half the size and spaced five feet apart. They don’t even give you a backyard. Where in the hell is your 120 pound Irish Wolfhound supposed to take a shit if they only have a 6×6 postage stamp of a lawn to do their business in.

This whole community is messed up. Take for instance the implicit curfew they have here. Sure, you can stay out as late as you want, but 90% of all businesses close at 8-9 pm. What the hell is up with that? That means that if Weena and I want to get a late dinner, or just grab a fucking beer with our friends then we have to drive 20 minutes out of our way to do so. Dude, I want to open a strip club in Irvine. It’s gonna look like a church, so the HOA doesn’t catch on. But it’ll be awesome. Fully nude girls, no poles. No… poles are for morons. Who the fuck thought of that? I’m gonna have my girls writhing on Jungle Gyms and Monkey bars!!! DUDE! Imagine how awesome it would be to get on a swing set with a stripper! I would NEVER forget that. Lap dances would be 100x more enjoyable on a seesaw. Hahah! Let’s take it further. You know how some people pay to watch naked chicks mud wrestle? Well fuck that. My strip church has naked DODGEBALL!! One dollar per throw. Winning team gets a free song in the champagne room.

Holy shit. I think I just came up with the next million dollar idea.

Tina Fey is by far the hottest woman on showbiz. I dunno what it is, but when she puts on those horn-rimmed glasses… SHAZAM!!! Instant hotty. You gotta admit, the geeky chicks are dy-no-mite. There’s nothing like a girl who can derive the volume under a curve in her head (that’s vector calculus for all the naive douchebags out there). I have a couple of those in class. Yowza. It’s like Velma on Scooby Doo. You know that if she just shaved her pits and wore a pair of Wonder Woman underoos that she would blow your fucking mind. Problem solver by day, gymnastic bed commando by night.

Sigh…

I’m not sobering up yet, but I sure am getting sick of typing. Suck it, losers. Imma go hit up the wife for a conjugal visit.

Haha, sex metaphor.

When a fire extinguisher is in your back seat, make sure to check if the pin hasn’t fallen out. Also make sure that it doesn’t roll around on the floor, because one day when you make a right turn onto another street, you may find your car filled with a blinding, choking cloud of white chemical powder.